They Have Completely Lost the Plot.

I thought we were done with this. Honestly, I thought Wizards of the Coast had finally learned their lesson, turned a corner, and started walking in a better direction. But here we are again, staring down an official Dungeons & Dragons promo piece that looks more like Mardi Gras or Moulin Rouge than anything resembling a fantasy adventure.

This new showgirl artwork? It’s loud, it’s sparkly, and it has the community on fire over on X (Twitter.) People are asking the same thing I am: who thought this was a good idea? Who looked at this and said, yes, that’s the message we want to send about the most famous roleplaying game in the world?

And let’s be real. It isn’t just the art. It’s the fact that this isn’t just a throwaway ad. No, it’s tied to a whole adventure. A whole adventure that seems like it belongs more in a cabaret than in a dungeon crawl.

Whatever happened to dungeons? To dragons? To sprawling underground mazes filled with rival factions and treasure hoards guarded by beasts that actually make your pulse quicken? What happened to adventures that made you want to roll dice with your friends until 2 a.m.?

Meanwhile, the Competition is Eating Their Lunch

It’s not like the industry around them is asleep. Daggerheart is climbing the charts. Brandon Sanderson’s Cosmere RPG just dropped and people are still buzzing about it. MCDM’s Draw Steel is building hype every week with new previews. Shadowdark is still kicking hard in the OSR circles. Castles & Crusades has been holding steady for years.

Paizo’s Pathfinder is getting by WotC on D&D Beyond. Kobold Press? Already halfway under Wizards’ shadow. Tales of the Valiant is fading into a footnote. And yes, even my beloved Free League Publishing is leaning into 5E worlds now which is concerning to me.

Wizards is playing whack-a-mole with the competition and losing badly. You can only buy out, bury, or absorb so many companies before somebody creates something you can’t touch. And when that day comes, the sad truth is Wizards won’t have the game to compete anymore.

One of These Things is Not Like the Other

Let me put it this way. Conan the Barbarian. Hawk the Slayer. Dragonslayer. Lord of the Rings. Moulin Rouge.

Do you see the problem?

Moulin Rouge is a fine movie. Ewan McGregor is incredible, and Nicole Kidman is luminous. But it’s not classic fantasy. It doesn’t belong on the same shelf as Conan or Lord of the Rings. And yet that’s exactly what Wizards seems to be doing with this “Life of a Showgirl” adventure. Trying to tell us it belongs.

No, it doesn’t. Not like this.

What WotC Doesn’t Seem to Get

It’s not that I’m against inclusivity. Far from it. I love that the hobby has become more welcoming to more people. That’s a good thing. What I don’t love is when corporate marketing teams start thinking the way to keep us engaged is with flashy virtue signals instead of actual adventures.

Because let’s be real: official D&D content should make us want to play D&D. Not roll our eyes. Not wonder what boardroom meeting approved this mess.

If you want to put out a showgirl adventure, fine. Drop it on DMsGuild. Toss it up as a side project. Someone out there will absolutely love it, and that’s great. But don’t try to make it the flagship thing you push for three months. Taylor Swift’s crowd doesn’t care about D&D. That’s not how you win back players who are already drifting away.

Back to the Basics

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: bring back the dungeons. Bring back the dragons. Bring back the blood, sweat, and treasure hauls that made this game into a cultural force. Stop treating us like we’re waiting for the next crossover with Starbucks or TikTok.

When you lose sight of what made the game beloved in the first place, you lose the audience. And right now, Wizards of the Coast is losing badly.

If I Were in Charge

I know, I’m just one small voice barking in the dark. Wizards doesn’t care what I think. But I’ll keep saying it anyway: if you put me in charge for one month, I’d pull this game back from the brink. No endless meetings. No corporate theater. Just a focus on making official content that actually feels like Dungeons & Dragons again.

Real monsters. Real adventures. Real wonder.

If the 50th Anniversary of D&D couldn’t deliver those things, what are we even doing here? I have articles where I’ve outlined what should be done to bring D&D back from the dead. Here’s how I would have handled the D&D 50th Anniversary. I recently discussed what Wizards of the Coast should be doing if they want to move forward and be prosperous again. I sent this article to WotC via email. (Big shock. I haven’t heard back.)

Final Thought

Magic: the Gathering is carrying Wizards of the Coast right now. D&D video games are propping them up. But the tabletop RPG itself? It’s in the worst shape I’ve seen it in since before Wizards even bought T$R.

And here’s the thing: it doesn’t have to be. We could go back to making art that stirs the imagination, not marketing controversies. We could go back to making modules people actually want to play.

That’s all I’m asking for. That’s all any of us are asking for.

Thanks for sticking with me through the rant. If you disagree, that’s okay—I want to hear from you. If you agree, then maybe you’re just as frustrated as I am. Either way, we’re all in this hobby together. And I’ll keep fighting for it.