Off Script: There Are Awards For This???

I’ve been at this for almost three years straight now.

Exhaustion, imposter syndrome, and depression are setting in. Family, I’m gonna be honest. I’m debating about shutting it all down. The blog, the YouTube channel, and my digital publishing efforts. I’m tired today. There’s duality here, though.

Maybe the most amazing times ever are right around the corner. The Galactic beings won’t even explain how time works because some of them aren’t even sure what time really is. I have yet to astral project enough to look ahead. My remote viewing skills just aren’t there yet. I don’t know what’s going to happen next week.

Disclaimer: This is my blog. This is how I see things and how I feel. There is little factual information being presented. If you have issue with anything being presented, please contact me privately on X (Twitter,) Instagram, BlueSky, or by email. Otherwise, there are lots of platforms out there for you to vent your feelings and opinions, too.

I found out there are awards for TableTop RolePlaying Games blogging. Apparently they’re called the “Bloggies.” Ironically the award has been going since 2022, just like our blog here. I honestly had no idea until yesterday. Apparently voting for 2024 is already well underway.

I had never even heard of this thing. Obviously I’ve never been nominated. No big deal, but it did get me thinking. I don’t do this for the validation, but it’s sure nice if people actually notice and maybe acknowledge my efforts.

The same thing is going on over with YouTube. I’m watching new Dungeons & Dragons content creators go from 0 to monetized in a month. My blog and my channel have about the same number of followers. It might even be the same people. I love you if you are. I did just get an email. I’m up to 800 views total for the whole channel after posting twice per week for three months or so.

Maybe it’s just time to do more or better promotion. Perhaps I could promote more on the social media I usually don’t go to. Not Reddit. NEVER Reddit. Yeesh. Maybe if I do a collab on YouTube? I dunno.

I have seriously contemplated just shutting down the site here. It’ll save over $100 per year. Stop making YouTube videos and save on my CapCut subscription. I technically never need to by a TTRPG book ever again. I have Dragonbane, ICONS, and tons of older  games. I could play solo indefinitely and be just fine. Writing up ICONS characters and creating stories around them got me through some rough years.

This is the time of year when people make big changes following New Years resolutions. My New Year’s intentions were go grow as a content creator and do even  more TTRPG related stuff. I’ve been looking at ways to expand and grow. Some of the things I’ve looked at are positively insane and unethical involving AI in many cases. I have to maintain adherence to my moral code for spiritual reasons.

This new friend that I made with the 1,000+ fresh subs in under a month on YouTube and who I’ve chatted a little with on social media spent years just working on her D&D campaign world and making things for her 5E game. She’s just sharing her awesomeness with the world, a regular ray of sunshine amidst what is usually a toxic cloud of online, um… toxicity. Yeah. She’s pretty darn cool. Please check out Knigobi’s channel. As of 1/10 at 5:00PM she’s up to 1.74K.

Needless to say my own growth is, um… ______ by comparison (Fill in the blank with an adjective of your choosing.) Leaving me to question if I’m just really bad at this. Should I even be here in the TTRPG space at all? It’s only been my hobby and passion for around 40+ years. It’s only slowed down a couple of times. Even when I took a break I wasn’t totally disconnected from the hobby.

So, I’m going to mull it over for a week or two before I make any drastic changes. I’m not running out of things to talk about probably ever. I remember first becoming unemployed back in 2021 before I started blogging full time. I just sat around playing Fortnite and Heroes of the Storm when I wasn’t picking up kids from school or dropping them off all over the place. It was not comfortable.

There’s also that little matter of income. I have one PWYW product on DriveThruRPG which is cool. I appreciate every dime I get through the Affiliate program. Right now I’d say is probably the worst time to debut or try to sell much of anything anywhere. Everyone is still recovering from the holidays, etc. I doubt if anyone’s really doing much online spending right now. Here in the States we also have the pending Trumpocalypse.

I’m working on a Dragonbane product of my own. If halfway successful it will be the first in a series of supplements for that game. I’ve tried for years to find that one specific system to kind of hitch my wagon to and I think Dragonbane is it. I hope Free League keeps the game going for a long time. If I’m not blogging or YouTubing I would have lots of time to devote to writing. On the other hand, I’d want to promote said product and then we’re back here and on YT.

I hope your weekend went well wherever you are. With a little luck this is one of those articles that gets made private and stands to remind me of what not to say. (Nervous chuckle.) Happy gaming regardless. See you tomorrow.

Thank you for being here with me today. I appreciate you. Keep it real, but please strive for positivity, too. Please embrace the things that bring you the most joy in your life.