Now I understand why they say, “Don’t look at your metrics.”

I don’t worry about the blog. I’ve accepted how ad revenue looks here on the blog as well as views/visitors, etc. I’m not as concerned about the blog as I currently am about YouTube. I am starting to doubt whether or not people truly read blogs any more, but that’s a different article for another time.

Disclaimer: This is my blog. This is how I see things and how I feel. There is little factual information being presented. If you have issue with anything being presented, please contact me privately on X (Twitter,) Instagram, BlueSky, or by email. Otherwise, there are lots of platforms out there for you to vent your feelings and opinions, too.

Then we come to YouTube Studio. I’m not sure if I want to laugh, cry, or vomit profusely. It’s a mess.

The video titled “Why Paizo?” where I discussed the Jason Buhlman thing was one of the best performing videos on the channel, but- 19 Likes, 44 Dislikes. Average view duration of two minutes out of an almost 19 minute long video. But it’s the highest performing video on the channel in terms of views, watch hours, and all that other stuff we’re supposed to actually keep track-of.

Then there’s the video titled, “I Got Triggered Today…” where I went off on a guy that took cheap shots at several YouTube content creators including my friend Knigobi. Second highest number of views, etc but nothing compared to the Paizo video. People watched a minute and nineteen seconds out of an eight minute video. Combine that with a whopping 12 Likes and 8 dislikes.

I am not very good at this YouTube thing yet, I guess?

I understand why the Paizo video might have cheesed a few people off if they didn’t watch the whole thing. I had to shut the comments off because people were getting incredibly nasty with each other and with me. We’re not having that. But I get why there were so many dislikes. People either think I was too hard on Bulmahn and Paizo, or they lumped me in with the “old neckbeards.” I often get mistaken for a hillbilly redneck bigoted Republican supporter even though that is the total opposite of who I am.

The Triggered video is another story. Am I making the conservative old fartz mad? Are they going to come after me next because I indirectly offended them? A minute and nineteen in I was still getting to several points. Not that most of the audience seemed to care?

Knigobi recommended my video to one of her Discord rooms and I wonder if that drove some traffic to it? Her Discord community is gigantic and has lots of recognizable names in the D&D YouTube space. It’s one of her super powers. She has massive heaps of friends and makes more everywhere she goes.

That’s a heck of a push for one of my videos, but then I don’t know if her audience discovered I’m an “old neckbeard” and bailed, maybe? Or am I that abrasive to a younger crowd? Sometimes I feel like I’m out of my element there, anyway.

I know the metrics aren’t a measure of me as a person, etc.

The thing that’s bothering me the most is that the two highest performing videos to date are ones where I went off on someone. They’re pretty negative by my standards, which might be considered mild by social media standards. I’m not trying to be a thorn in someone’s arse. I’m trying to build up a TTRPG community and have fun with games.

The YouTube metrics that matter most are Subscribers, Watch Hours, Click Through Rate, and view duration. If I want to ever become a YouTube Partner Program member, I’ve got to get the subs and the watch hours. I can learn from these metrics, but I’m not sure I like what they’re saying.

I figured writing this out might be better than taking another mental health day. I keep looking at the numbers and wondering, “Do I drop everything and start making 2024-25 D&D 5E content?”

It seems kinda slimy to me. Will I be able to keep that audience? Or am I going to find out that it’s not the subject of the content or the guy delivering it? Should I just quit entirely and go live under a bridge somewhere? I don’t know right now. Hopefully your week is going better.

Thank you for being here with me today. I appreciate you. Keep it real, but please strive for positivity, too. Please embrace the things that bring you the most joy in your life.