You are all wonderful. Thank you for being here.

I might be taking a few days off to decide where this content creation journey is headed. I’m finding out that compared to other TTRPG bloggers and “DungeonTubers”/TTRPG YouTubers that my growth has been very limited. I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong at this point. I don’t expect to be Justin Alexander or Professor DM levels of successful, but damn.

Here’s links to The Alexandrian as well as Justin’s YouTube so you can see what I mean.

Here’s the link to Dungeoncraft as well. Professor DM is one of the top DungeonTubers. I respect his opinion even if we don’t always 100% agree on everything all the time.

Obviously I’m not in the ballpark of 20.1K or 141K YouTube subscribers. I would lose my ever-loving marbles if I could just get to 1,000 or 1,500 right now. Then there’s the 4,000 watch hours, but according to most YouTube experts and from what I’ve seen, subscriber count typically grows slower than watch hours. I’m grateful for all 54 subscribers I have currently.

I strive for positivity, but…

It doesn’t always work out that way. The TTRPG social media space is mired in all sorts of toxicity, both positive and negative. (I’ll talk more about toxic positivity again in the future if the blog keeps going.) The industry, especially surrounding Wizards of the Coast, is messy as well. (Which sucks because they hold the reins of Dungeons & Dragons.) Even the blogosphere is polarized in places. We can’t seem to ever agree to disagree about anything. I don’t see people in other hobbies and interests going at one another nearly as much.

This level of depression I’m feeling right now messes with literally everything. Maybe I’m addicted to dopamine and spend too much time on social media. I dunno. I’ve been trying to ignore most of my notifications with some minor exceptions. I just feel like every time I look around everyone else has their sh🦆t together and I don’t. I hope it’s just me and my overactive imagination.

Even my whole Law of Attraction/manifestation journey is derailed at the moment. It’s like I’m pulled right back down into that deep funk I had in July of 2021. I don’t honestly know what started it this time. But regardless, I’m going to take a break from all of my content creation efforts big and small for a day or two and kinda sit with this.

I might just finish out the month of writing prompts, do all of my reviews in March, and then just be done. I don’t yet. I’m probably taking the week off of YouTube, too. (Not that my metrics seem to show a big difference.) Or maybe everything will do a 180 in the next day or two and I’ll be fine. I should probably find a new therapist. Thanks for listening.

Thank you for being here with me today. I appreciate you. Keep it real, but please strive for positivity, too. Please embrace the things that bring you the most joy in your life.