Okay, after yesterday’s Muppet silliness, it’s time to get serious.

Not all vampires wear black, sleep in coffins lined with taffeta, or talk with a cheesy accent. Some of them might be that pale looking fellow who came back from his last adventure looking a bit drained. Maybe he suddenly has a craving for raw meat, extra rare. His craving for blood sausages might be easily overlooked were it not for his abnormal aversion to sunlight and the sudden urge to sleep all day. The rest of this scenario might be best explained by the diary entry of a Mallard Thief, Plucky Pato.

It was the thirtieth day of some month on a calendar that doesn’t really matter. We were on our way back from a ruined ancient catacomb that I had expertly led my fellow adventurers through. Even my little side excursion went unnoticed. (I’m a greedy little Mallard.) It netted me a fat emerald that I have every intention on spending when no one is looking.

I’m awfully tired today. Maybe it’s the all night watches finally catching up to me. Breakfast was another major disappointment. Why do we let Adrienne do all the cooking when there is so much meaty game out there to catch? I don’t know why, but a nice, rare steak or freshly prepared venison sounds really good these days.

The next night went by pretty quietly. I passed on another Adrienne dinner. I’m hoping a nice, fat, juicy rabbit wanders by while I’m on watch tonight.

Nigel and Robert are all in an uproar because one of the horses got bit by some mosquitos or something. It’s a little early for those. Obdurian thinks I fell asleep on watch. Preposterous! I never sleep when it’s my turn to watch over the tender necks of all my sleeping comrades and those big, beefy pack animals. Don’t be silly.

Obdy decided to take watch tonight, affording me the opportunity to do a little night scouting at the nearest farms. I propped up some treasure on my sleeping pelt and snuck out like I am so apt to do. I checked on Nigel’s horse first. Poor thing had to be led around all day. Too weak to hold a saddle and rider. We took lots of breaks that landed us a good few hours from the village.

It’s the third day of the next month or whatever. We finally made it back to town. I promptly checked into the inn as last night was fruitless and tiring. I’m starting to think the sun is just there to annoy me these days. I can’t wait to cash in some of my ill gotten gain when Robert, Nigel, and the halfling aren’t looking. Obdy and Adrienne are doing their sleeping on natural ground thing. Buncha tree huggers.

I’m a little frustrated that I slept until sundown again. No one was around to assess my loot. The innkeeper is serving the usual potage, leaving me to go forage dinner elsewhere. Think I might prowl around some of the local farms and see what I can find for food.

It’s strange, but the longer we’re away from the ruin, the more I feel drawn back to it. It’s almost like I forgot something. By “something” I mean a dear old friend or mentor or something. Think I might pack up and head back that way in the morning all by my little resourceful self.

A night later I woke up with the strong taste of blood in my beak. Worse, my clothes were soaked as if I had been in battle and gotten soaked with a wineskin full of blood. I quickly changed. I don’t think they noticed. Robert and Nigel went to investigate some farm animals that turned up like Nigel’s horse. This place must have a real mosquito problem. I heard one of the goats was, umm Maybe it’s a cult or something.

I had to skip a few nights as I was a lot tied up. Apparently I’ve been missing time. Silly villagers mistook me for a vampire. Strangest thing. I got dragged out into the sun for what felt like a real grilling. They’re all like, “Plucky, how did you get all this blood on your clothes and why do you have fangs all of the sudden?”

I’ve always had these fangs, err, umm… egg teeth. I just never shed mine or something. I think it’s just hilarious these guys thought I was the “goat sucker.” I let Adrienne do her little ritual which was really annoying and separated me from my master back in the catacombs. I guess we’re going back to “slay” him or some junk.

Anyway, I’m strictly a vegetables and fruits guy after the apothecary and Adrienne made me drink some kinda magical foo-foo juice. I’ve never thrown up so hard in my life! I coughed up a gallon of blood that wasn’t even mine. Not to mention all the bones. What am I? An owl now? Anyway, they say a few more treatments and watching me closely should cure me of this dumb disease I don’t even have. I may never eat meat again, though.

Tonight they’re watching me to see if I do anything. One of my feet is chained to the floor in cold wrought iron chains just to be safe. Am I a werewolf now? My egg teeth shrank up and disappeared. Go figure. Adrienne said a couple more of her treatments the spirits prescribed, and I’d be cured of whatever it is.

I owe Adrienne a debt of gratitude this morning. While I’ve never been a big fan of sunlight, I was able to comfortably walk in daylight again for the first time in a while. I offered her the emerald, but she said it was probably cursed and should be squirreled away in a locked box protected by magic until we can cleanse it. So much for that extra spending coin. Overall, it’s just nice to be alive.

In this case the group was fortunate enough to catch onto the vampire in their midst before the transformation was complete. Adrienne, the Animist Mage is deeply connected to nature and the spirits there. Between her spirit knowledge and the town’s apothecary they were able to reverse the process for the most part. It still cost the group most of the loot they brought back from the catacombs, but indebted farmers and other villagers they helped have offered the group a place to stay if they ever travel back to the quaint little town.

Thank you for being here today with me. I appreciate you. Please embrace the things that bring you the most joy.