It’s been a few years since I got the boot from my corporate job.
I do not miss it. In fact, it may well be one of the best things to ever happen in my life. It’s been a growing experience, to say the least. It hasn’t always been wine and roses, but then again nothing ever really is.
Clichés aside, I have learned a lot since I became free of the 6:00PM-6:00AM grind four days per week. Yes, that really was the schedule and the four on/four off was really painful when it comes to keeping diabetes and pain meds on a regular schedule. Also having to explain to 4 kids why Dad can’t go to ball games and swim meets was emotionally tedious and painful for everyone involved.
If not for my wife, I wouldn’t be here now.
I really owe her a major debt of gratitude as she kept the house afloat and the bills paid when I was unceremoniously canned. Before that I owe her for all the times she took the kids to various appointments, activities and events. She had to shoulder the burdens of being a single parent while still married.
We knew “the writing was on the Jumbotron” as far as my job was concerned. She took it remarkably well when I called home and told her I’d been sacked. I was freaking out. She was fine as far as I could tell. I had a rough ten minutes trying to figure out if I was even going to tell her or just pretend to go to work every night. I finally caved to sanity and called.
It hasn’t always been Cheetos, soda, and video games.
I went through a depressive phase for about the first four or five months of unemployment. Looking for a job at my age really sucks. Throw in various disabilities and qualifications on top of that and it’s a recipe for perpetual unemployment. There before the grace of the Universe and the Federal Government go I.
I played my share of Fortnite and Heroes of the Storm for those first months. Getting back on a “day schedule” was pretty sucky. I’m still a Nocturnal American at heart. I do most of my heavy thinking and I’m most alert after the sun goes down. Not to mention I just plain function better at night when the rest of the world is quiet.
Depression has been a constant theme for four years if I’m being totally honest. Some days are better than others, sure. I’m heavily medicated to the nines for depression and it only sorta helps sometimes. If it weren’t for my wife’s insurance, I’d be basically screwed when it comes to medical coverage. I really get the impression Medicare doesn’t do a lot of what our healthcare plan does. Mentally/emotionally it’s a daily struggle to keep level and push ahead.
I do manage to help shuttle the four kiddos around and attend all those events/activities/appointments that I missed in years past. That’s been pretty cool. Somewhere in the middle of all that I have time for meditation, YouTube viewing, and writing. Some days I even manage to go for a walk.
Social anxiety hampers my YouTube and public gaming efforts most days.
I’m way more comfortable addressing all of you kind souls out there in Internet land than walking around in public. If it weren’t for my wife and kids, I’d never leave the house. I’m happy when I’m writing because I can somewhat control the feedback I receive. (As evidenced by my Comments being turned off, etc.) I’ve mentioned before in other articles that feedback of any kind and I do not get along too well. It has a lot to do with the way that last job ended and the subsequent dealings with state government.
My stage fright when it comes to live theatre is no big deal. Those jitters are just short of nonexistent. I can twerk naked on stage if it was live theatre, and I wouldn’t care as long as I didn’t read any of the reviews. I miss acting, but that would mean being around people. Ick. My physical condition also prevents me from performing on live stage ever again, scheduling aside.
YouTube is another story entirely. Once upon a time I was determined to make a career out of creating videos. I’ve seen the smellier, more horrible side of the platform or at least RPG (Dungeons & Dragons) YouTube. As a community, some of us gamers are a picky and cantankerous lot. I watch copious amounts of videos, and I see the comments. If I were making two videos per day like I’d like to be doing, I think my wife would have to talk me down off the roof after reading the comments.
That’s how my channel trailer ended up getting deleted, actually. It’s fine because the thing was a year old and I’ve been seeing a lot of advice saying channel trailers aren’t the way to go anyway, despite what YouTube tells us. IFF I decide to start making videos, I think we’ll have the most current video as the channel trailer.
I’m grateful for the YouTube marketing lessons I’ve been learning.
One of the nicest things about the Internet is the positively massive amount of free information one can find. Admittedly, a lot of it takes the form of advertising for someone’s webinar, online course, AI generated book or whatever, but there are always a few grains of wisdom for the discerning eye. Obviously most of these fine people wouldn’t be where they are today without getting some of it right. How many are actually verifiable millionaires is another story, but they’re obviously they’ve found something that does work on YouTube, social media, etc. I’ve still been picking up on tips and tricks, many of which I don’t see on RPG YouTube strangely enough.
I will say some of the most successful D&DTubers/RPG YouTubers are starting to figure it out. Not surprisingly all of the ones who come to mind started off on TikTok, Instagram, or Twitch. I truly for the life of me wish people would stop making three and four hour long streaming videos for regular content. To the contrary, I’m almost disappointed when a group Actual Play isn’t at least an hour or two. Regular content videos don’t need to be these epic all-night long livestreams. I don’t care what kinda super chats are coming in. It just can’t be worth it.
The other thing I want to politely point out to various D&DTubers in particular- nobody in their right mind wants to watch a three hour long shameless plug for your newest Kickstarter project. At least I sure as heck don’t. I think people who have that kind of time on their hands could be working on that project or one of their own. For what it’s worth, why not start livestreaming your everyday life?
“Here I am rolling out of bed, turning the camera on, scratching my junk, making breakfast, etc.” That makes for a good livestream, right? People would pay to see that if they were up and didn’t have lives of their own to live. I’m just trying to point out the sheer ridiculousness of some of these livestreams. It’s gotten out of hand.
However, education doesn’t do a heap of good unless it is practiced as well.
Many years ago, my wise friend Laura DiBenedetto pointed out to me that I tend to live in my head. Ever since that fateful evening when I was canned from ye olde job years ago, I would say that is doubly so. I can learn this stuff all day, but unless I do something with it, there’s no point to receiving the education. Ironically, when I was in college all I ever wanted was the practical side of everything we learned.
I learned web marketing and some programming when I was shortly out of college just like I’m learning what makes YouTube tick now. Here’s where I need to “lean into the suck” and just do the damned thing. <Gulp!> This Fall, when I’m ready and I don’t have the whole family in the house all day every day. The “when I’m ready” part being what’s really stuck right now.
Laura is a great mentor, coach, and friend. She’s still right about me. It’s taken years to get there, but I know the leap I need to take. I just have to hang in there for another month and a half to “do the damned thing.”
Meanwhile, I’m writing scripts, figuring out topics, learning OBS, getting marketing tips, and the one other project that needs to be in place before YouTube starts. My not-so-secret project needs to get done start to finish in record time. Lots to do, not tons of time. Weird for a guy with no discernible job, huh?
I also have you, my beloved audience to thank.
Thanks for being here one and all whether this is your first visit or your 113th. I mean it when I say I appreciate you every day. You are part of our community and #ttrpgfamily in many cases. Keep up the good work. I’ll try to keep providing content.
Speaking of content, we have a ton of reviews coming up. Last I counted there are close to 20 game products in my “To Be Reviewed” pile. Plus lots of other fun to be had before the summer ends. There’s also #RPGaDay2024 coming up all throughout August.
Until tomorrow, thank you for being here! I am so happy and grateful to have even one reader. You are all the best. Have a terrific day. Now go out there and have some fun!
Jeff's Game Box 