I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this.
I get that every group is a little different. Every Game Master is a little different. Everyone has their own style and preferences. That’s cool.
What puzzles me is when I hear GMs say, “I vet all my players,” or “I gatekeep my group.” I understand not wanting certain extremely dangerous and/or sketchy people around one’s kids or someone who might pose a physical threat to other members of the group. (pedo🦆iles, Na🦆is, etc.) What bugs me is it also gets used to exclude people who probably deserve a chance.
Disclaimer: Statements expressed in this article are strictly my opinion. If you disagree or have a different opinion, that’s okay. I’m not an expert on everything. I’m not always right. I’m just writing from my experience as I know it. Your mileage may vary.
I’ll say it again, “No one is God’s gift to roleplaying games.”
Especially not the category of “old white dudes in a basement.” I know some of them would like to think otherwise but trust me- they’re not that special. Then again, do you really want someone’s first experience to be with someone who has that attitude? I love you all enough not to let that happen if it were up to me.
Yes, I am an old basement dwelling white dude. That’s literally where my man cave is. I find it cozy.
However, as I represent that “old white guy” demographic, I have to speak up both in defense and with absolute disdain for some of us. We have to take the bad with the good sometimes. Honestly, some representatives of the Old School Renaissance are pretty irreprehensible. On the other hand, there are plenty of forward-thinking, intelligent, mature gamers out there as well.
I know certain YouTube/social media personalities like to lord it over people that they know everything there possibly is to know about roleplaying. No one could possibly “get it right” (Red Flag right there) like they do. They “always vet their players.” (Red Flag.) If you’re “just playing for fun, then you’re doing it wrong.” (Final Red Flag.)
That’s the kind of attitude that scares players off of the table. It’s the same attitude that kept a lot of very kind and polite players out of groups for decades. Honestly, if someone showed up to my game with that sort of arrogant, know-it-all attitude- they’d be asked to leave. It’s a get it under control or go warning to be sure.
Yes, “old (cishet) white dudes” get a bad reputation.
I’ve said it countless times on this blog. As an overall part of the American culture, we “old white (presumably cishet) guys” have a pretty awful reputation for being some of the absolutely worst humans on or off the gaming table. Our beloved hobby of Dungeons & Dragons was invented by guys from that particular demographic. Yeah, bigotry, misogyny, and hate ran rampant back in the 1970s probably as much or more than it does now. We can’t really help that part.
Here’s where I think the Inclusivity portion of DEI goes a bit off the rails. It has gotten to the point where I’m seeing groups looking exclusively for LGBTQIA++, BIMPOC, neurodivergent, presumably under 30, and/or physically handicapped players. That is by no means offensive, but it mimics the behavior we’ve been struggling against for 50 years. While I would never approach that group looking to join, much less insist on it, I know there are plenty of guys in my demographic that do. We call them troublemakers at best.
I happily gave up my convention seat if we had too many players or someone else wanted to join after we were a full table. I was way more likely to do so if I knew or could see they were for LGBTQIA++, BIMPOC, neurodivergent, physically handicapped, or even considerably older players wanting a seat. I grew up here in Iowa where we still hold doors open for everyone and do our best to accommodate one another. It’s called, “being polite.” It’s how I was raised.
My spiritual journey has reinforced this notion of, “don’t be a jerk to your fellow humans.” We should be helping one another. We should be coming together as a family. TTRPGs are a great way to start taking down the divide between us all. Really any hobby where people have an excuse to sit down and talk to one another should be welcomed with open arms.
So many new editions of fantasy games are coming this year and next.
I just saw 13th Age 2E and Castles & Crusades are going to be offered in new editions soon. The reason a lot of these fantasy games are changing and offering new editions is because of the Great Wizards of the Coast Dungeons & Dragons Open Game License Debacle of 2023. Everyone and their dog except WotC is trying to break free of the old d20 OGL for fear WotC will attempt another skeezy cash grab.
D&D and more fantasy games than we can count are coming and that means one very important thing that I think a lot of people are overlooking right now. We need to prepare for a positively massive influx of new players into D&D especially and the hobby in general. We will likely see new players joining the hobby at a rate unheard-of since Critical Role and Stranger Things got popular.
WE, the veteran gamers of the world, MUST WELCOME NEW PLAYERS!
The time for three hour interviews and probationary periods along with a lengthy application process to join a gaming group just needs to be gone. (Yes, there really is a group like that. Their GM regularly boasts about it on YouTube.) Everyone’s going to do what they’re going to do regardless, but I would like to add a few public service announcements.
First, if you want high standards for your own personal group that meets in your house- by all means vet your players. Hope your interviews and firings go well. That’s fine. Private property, private game- not my fish, not my pond.
Second, If you’re meeting in public, please try to give people a chance. If they walk up and get curious about the game, maybe hand them an NPC to play for a few minutes. Ask them if they want to roll some dice and look over the DM’s shoulder (if you’re the DM.) Please invite them to play.
If someone who was invited into the group turns out to be disruptive or sketchy, maybe ask them to leave, but if you can offer them suggestions on a group they could join, that’d be pretty cool. (Assuming they’re not being outright 🦆holes.) Maybe you’re group isn’t for them or vice versa. That’s okay. Maybe you know of one that is.
Third, online games are going to be teeming with new players. Unless they send up too many red flags at the start of Session Zero, let them join in. If someone is willing to play their character, cooperate with the group a bit and have fun? Please let them in. Let’s keep the gate for safety, but let in as many as we still can.
Last, we need to put up a good front for new, incoming players. Let’s make the hobby look and seem appealing. Imagine how many players we might be able to retain as DM/GMs if we all seem friendly and kind. What are another million or so new players and GMs worth to us? I think they’re worth quite a bit.
Let’s fill every convention seat to capacity. Let’s run as many demos and new player sessions as we can squeeze in one day. Let’s get excited about teaching the hobby and having fun. Let’s have fun! And let’s keep people coming back!
This is where I drop my standard disclaimer of do what works best for you and your group note. Maybe some of us “old white dudes” won’t be welcome at every table. People in the hobby have heard that line before, usually coming from the other side of the discussion. The best solution I can think of is please be kind and considerate to everyone. We’re here to have fun and make new friends.
I’ll end with my other standard plea: Please be nice to people. It’s the positive way of saying, “Don’t be a jackass.” If you’re an old veteran GM like me, please try to bring in more players than you chase off these next couple of years. This is our chance to really make the hobby shine.
Thank you for being here today with me. I appreciate you. Please embrace the things that bring you the most joy.
Jeff's Game Box 