This topic reappears in the TTRPG space about once every three months.
I noticed the debate was blowing up when someone posted a copy of the consent form on X (Twitter) and asked how we would handle it. I don’t know if that’s someone starting trouble on purpose or if it was an innocent question. Red flags are going up all over social media and YouTube.
I love YouTube. I’ve said before I consume a copious amount of content on there from a huge variety of creators. I learn a lot on there, but we also see a lot of opinions, too. I treat it like I treat Wikipedia when I want to do research- It’s a good starting point to find talking points when digging deeper.
This current round of TTRPG Safety Tools debates has taken several odd turns. We went from seemingly civil discourse all the way to shouting and name calling. I mean, it’s the Internet. I dunno what I was thinking. We live in a discouraging age where everything and anything spills over from social media into everything else.
Disclaimer: Statements expressed in this article are strictly my opinion. If you disagree or have a different opinion, that’s okay. I’m not an expert on everything. I’m not always right. I’m just writing from my experience as I know it. Your mileage may vary.
The form, the discussion, and the mass of arguments.
I really get the sense that eyes roll every time this subject comes up. Yet here we are again. As with every other subject on the World Wide InterWebs, we can’t just take a point, disagree politely, and move on. It has to become a knockdown, drag-out brawl ending in bruised egos and people being blocked everywhere. And no, I’m not taking about my own crappy experiences this week.
The form in question that I think started this whole thing is actually just a nice presentation of the one in Monte Cook’s Consent in Gaming. That PDF is free on DriveThruRPG if you haven’t checked it out yet and wish to do so.
If this form were presented during Session Zero, what would you do? Well, a lot of people automatically took offense to this notion. This triggered all of the pro Safety Tools crowd and there were naturally fireworks. People become emotional and impassioned very quickly over this topic as some of us have disability and trauma issues. (It’s me. I’m some people.) However, it would benefit the hobby more or just as
I heard a very intelligent, well thought-out take on Safety Tools about a day before the Twitter post I saw. The YouTube channel I watched this really good video on was We Love TTRPGs! This is the link. He’s got a unique take. Not everyone will agree. I think a lot of people in the #ttrpg space will agree.
How would I deal with the form?
I almost stuck my foot squarely in my mouth on X (Twitter) in response to this post. I saw what happened when someone else, ironically named Jeff, said the exact same thing I was getting ready to say. (*The Universe brings me abundant blessings with divine timing.) That Jeff got into a world of proverbial hurt on X (Twitter.) I understand what he meant, but he got burnt by his presentation. (I won’t link to the video, because I’m not trying to get involved in yet another controversy on YouTube.) Normally Jeff’s channel was okay. I’m not sure how this discussion went so far off the rails with him. Needless to say I respectfully disagree with most of what he had to say on the matter.
I was originally going to say I would present an abridged version of the form. I stopped to think about it. If it doesn’t come up and no one thinks to write it into the blank- is it still a valid Red Flag/X Card? Personally I think every incidence of a Red Flag/X Card is serious and warrants my full GM attention is valid in terms of addressing it at the time of incidence. Things also happen after Session Zero to alter how players feel about a particular topic.
I think the best approach to this form for me as a GM is to tally the Red responses and omit them from the campaign completely. My own responses for red would have already been removed, regardless. I normally welcome players of all ages, so if it ain’t at least PG-13, it’s gone.
People give the MPAA rating system a bad reputation.
The Motion Picture Association of America has used the same rating system on movies for decades now. While some originally decried it as censorship or unnecessary artistic restriction, it was implemented and used to great success in movie theaters around the country. I think something similar could be implemented in TTRPGs and it might make more sense to some of the older gamers out there.
I’ve seen the MPAA system used at conventions. When I was helping organize small conventions back in the 90s, it was requested on all registration forms, but I don’t recall ever having an issue. We did have to escort one gentleman out of a convention for spouting a bunch of bigoted, hateful comments at a GM. That was more of a safety issue and less of a consent issue, though. Common sense should have dictated, “Don’t be an asshole at a gaming convention,” but we’re not all cut from the same cloth, apparently.
The Consent Checklist even has a line about, “If the game were a movie, what would it be rated?”
Cool, because my games never go a whole lot beyond PG-13. Monster of the Week/SCP/Cthulhu might creep up into Rated R territory, but only because it’s horror. Even then, I’m not inviting kids under the age of 17 to a horror game. Otherwise, I’m nerfing the game down to Goosebumps level, and we may as well play something else.
This topic is complicated, which is also the key to its divisiveness.
The TTRPG community is probably more divided over TTRPG Safety Tools than any other topic that comes up on a regular basis. It often splits right down Old School Renaissance vs new school ideology. It pits bitter, angry old fartz against all of us in the disabled, LGBTQIA++, BIMPOC, DEI, social justice, neurodiverse, PTSD, and other groups who have needs that can easily be served by implementing this simple concept at the table.
This should be so easy looking at it from the outside, one would never know so many people get so easily bent out of shape every time it comes up online. People have legitimate trauma around some things in real life and never want to see that come up in a game. What is the freakin harm in conducting a survey during the session where we normally make characters anyway, to see what the GM might want to avoid talking about?
Have Safety Tools ever backfired at the table during a game session? According to some of my online friends, yes. One friend in particular claimed that he has never had a good experience with Safety Tools. He had one X Card use backfire and result in him being ousted from the group and ridiculed on social media. I feel bad for him because he didn’t deserve to be in a group that would do that. But that’s why he absolutely detests Safety Tools now, even though they would normally benefit him.
There’s also the age old argument about Safety Tools being abused. Basically the argument goes player doesn’t like the situation their character is in, so they throw the X Card to change the narrative even though the situation is not actually trauma-inducing or somehow upsetting to them as a player. I think in any Table Talk RPG (as the Japanese call it) it is possible to argue or bend the narrative to try to get one’s character out of an ugly situation. Not every player will abuse Safety Tools, but a few have in the past and that’s why we can’t have nice things on the Internet.
Time for my pep talk on the subject.
I’m not going to rehash every single point of the argument. I’ve done that in other articles, and we don’t need to go back over every single point again. I always end up saying, “Do what works best for you and your group.”
This topic is worthy of a social media break for the sake of one’s mental health. Unfollow, Mute, Block, Remove work wonders for people with takes that make your blood boil in whichever direction on this issue. My block key got a workout on X (Twitter) the last couple of days. This is one time people blocking me won’t give me cause for concern.
FYI- For those who aren’t aware yet: I’m awakened, not “woke” which simply means I see a deeper spiritual meaning in treating my fellow humans well. Sensitivity isn’t optional. Empathy shouldn’t be optional. It’s easy- Don’t shit on your fellow humans! I’m disabled and pro LGBTQIA, pro BIMPOC, pro DEI, pro several-other-things-that-might-trigger-some-people. Oh well.
Being a sensitive human being when running or playing in a TTRPG is something to praise. Yes, I put my players’ feelings above a make believe game about elves and wizards. This topic is somewhat insane to me because in the end, we all want the same thing in terms of the hobby- to have fun with friends. (I have another article about this coming up.) But people come first! Be kind or be gone to someone else’s game.
Here’s my new angle on some of this.
It is not my job to tell other people how to run their table. It is my job as a GM to make sure my players feel safe engaging in my game at my table. It is my concern during Session Zero to make sure we discern which topics to avoid in order to create a healthy play environment.
I tend to game with my wife and kids, three of whom are under 18. Horror? Nothing involving kids and PG-13 levels of violence, gore, etc. Relationships? Anything beyond smoochies and holding hands is an automatic Fade to Black.
Mental and Physical Health concerns are a gray area. Obviously I don’t allow extremes of anything. Some things are right out and will never be mentioned. (Torture, S.A, Pregnancy Related anything, Cancer) I agree with the take someone had on YouTube about those things not needing to be on the form because they would never come up in game. BUT! If it’s an unknown group in a new situation such as a convention, they don’t know that! If a group doesn’t know me, sure- leave everything as-is on the form and simply share mine. (GM usually has final say on red light items, anyway. Obviously I’m not going to include something that I personally find offensive.)
The real gray area for me is some of the physical conditions that are naturally part of the game. Hot/cold weather, thirst, starvation, severe weather events, paralysis, and police aggression are things that can come up regularly in most fantasy campaigns. I’ll respect a yellow or red flag and yes, those concerns are valid, and I’ll definitely try to be sensitive to those issues. I just find it a bit tricky to maneuver given those are more common conditions in a fantasy game.
Social and Cultural issues, including Genocide and Terrorism (which I feel were misplaced) are a sticky wicket in and of themselves. I’ve heard takes on these issues that went sour very fast. Do I think they have a place in TTRPGs as a GM? Sometimes.
Am I going to inflict all kinds of horrible things on my Player Characters? Not in the extreme, no. Most of what I would include in a fantasy game, for example, would be lessons for my kids about some of these topics intended to teach a lesson. Maybe there was once slavery in the land of Sheng, but it has since been abolished. At one time the “good aligned” kingdoms led crusades into the Underdark to try to purge all of the Drow, Svirfneblin, and Duergar. Now the Orcs, Goblins, and Gnolls of the bordering forests are facing a new inquisition. Does the group attempt to put a stop to the tragedy?
If at any time I touch on something that’s too sensitive, my players know how to throw up a Red Flag or X Card. That’s also assuming they didn’t check the red dot on the list, too. I’m never intentionally going to introduce something my players are direly opposed to. If that means rewriting lore, adventures, and descriptions, that’s fine. I’d rather do that than have a player running away in tears. (Not kidding in the slightest.)
I’m 100% open to any topic the players want to bring to my attention.
I fully understand that not everyone runs things the way I do. I am not the Universe’s gift to the world of TTRPGs. No one is that good no matter what they do. Everyone’s table is their own concern. I will gladly share advice and recommendations, sure. I will also listen if someone doesn’t wish to participate in the survey or doesn’t use it at their table.
Would I share a table with someone who flat-out refuses to use Safety Tools? Would I chase someone away from my table if they presented this form? Would I kick someone out of the group for refusing to fill out the checklist?
I use the checklist shown. The graphics on mine are slightly older. I’ve only had to pull it out once because I usually game with family. We had a player that might have joined from outside the family had their schedule permitted. It happens. But I’ll gladly print them off any time I run for a group I don’t know.
If someone presents me with this checklist during Session Zero instead of mine, I’d maybe humor it as long as they’re similar and I still have final say over what’s not allowed in my various adventures and settings with an eye toward sensitivity. Some of the green lit stuff will be ignored and disallowed if it causes concern for another player or me. Again- PG or PG-13. End of discussion on that one.
Would I boot someone for refusing to take part in the Checklist or any Safety Tools? That’s a case-by-case consideration. Knee jerk reaction is to show some people the door. If I truly don’t know anything about someone and they seem shady, not participating or agreeing to Safety Tools is a huge concern for me.
In the case of my friend who has had multiple bad experiences with Safety Tools, I would encourage him to stay. If nothing else, I know he’s not a creepy edgelord. If he pulls the X Card, I’m okay with it. I’ll do my best to make sure his experiences are pleasant, civil, and as fun as possible. That’s usually the goal, anyway.
Ultimately, I might lose a few players with my approach to Safety Tools.
Maybe, but the ones who I get to keep are going to be appreciated and hopefully enjoy their game experience with the rest of the group. I want to keep my table safe and free from certain real-world politics. I want to keep myself and my family safe, too. I don’t think that’s unreasonable.
What happens at someone else’s table is up to them. I’m always free to avoid that situation like the plague if I don’t like what I’d be getting myself into. The main goal is to treat each other with goodness, kindness, and civility. We might not always agree on everything, but can we at least find common ground and get along when we disagree.
On that note, I’m turning in for the night. Have a good weekend. I’m sure this topic will return again someday.
Thank you for being here today with me. I appreciate you. Please embrace the things that bring you the most joy.
Jeff's Game Box 