Advice that’s easier to give than to take.

I recently ran across a post on X (Twitter) from a creator that I admire a great deal. He’s debating about publishing an adventure before the commissioned art is ready and filling in the rest when it comes. I  and several others said he should just go for it, especially given that the proceeds from this module are going to charity.

We all told him to go for it. I gave several ways to get around the lack of art. That’s another problem I’m facing currently, so I get it. He said he’s just not quite sure if he wants to go through with it right now.

His situation being what it is, and I won’t go into it here, I can’t blame him. The charity he’s supporting is very close to his family situation. I know his intentions are pure and he wants to do it right for those family reasons. I’m not going to lovingly push like I would if it was just for fun and profit.

My malfunction revolves around fear and Imposter Syndrome.

(*Hey, don’t judge.) I can’t decide if I’m more afraid to fail or succeed at this point. I’ve already published some things to get over the virtual stage fright. I dunno why I’m worried about every little detail being perfect. My therapist even says I’m a perfectionist.

The thing that really confuses me is how some of these guys can crank out prolific amounts of material on DriveThruRPG.com the way they do. Are they not editing? Am I too old school for my own good?

I balance a lot of my decisions on what I would do as a consumer. Believe it or not, I’m pretty fussy about what I buy in PDF form. All the little $.99 and $1.99 rack up a bill pretty fast if I’m not careful. I keep looking at this Shadowdark RPG compatible item and asking, “Is it good enough?”

Honestly, I’m not sure if it’s good enough or if I should keep adding to it and changing things. That leads me to the Imposter Syndrome portion of our show. Like, should I even be publishing anything at all? Should I just leave this sort of thing for the “professionals?” I spend more time rattling around in my own head than should be considered healthy for a human, to be sure.

*Content Warning*: Mental Health (Depression,) Self Harm (Suicide)
I am not a mental health professional.

On a tangential note, Matt Mercer released a video on X (Twitter) the other day.

Here’s the link to the post. (*Hopefully it works.) Here’s Part 2 provided it works. Short summary: Matt talks about depression and what he’s been doing to take care of himself. He also mentions his utter sadness over the atrocities that are happening in Gaza right now. Apparently he and his wife donated heavily to humanitarian efforts over there and it’s going so badly.

I can relate to a lot of what Matt talked about in Part 1. I’m disabled because of chronic pain (Fibromyalgia/arthritis) and some mental health issues. I’m actually surprised Matt Mercer has back pain similar to mine. And I’m certainly no stranger to depression. Pain and depression is like getting sucker punched some days. Just when you think you’re going to avoid one, WHAM! There’s the other one.

I know I kinda give Critical Role and Matt Mercer some grief here on my blog. I’m never that serious about it, though. After his two short videos, I seriously want to give him a hug and tell him he’s going to be okay. You’re never all alone. There’s always someone here for you.

I find tuning out the mainstream media out altogether is a big help, too. I know being a kind of a celebrity like the Critical Role cast, much less Matt freakin Mercer himself, makes it tough to stay away from the news. He’s got thousands of fans presenting him with issues every day. Yes, he’s an awesome DM/GM, but he only do so much in the real world.

There are probably a million people who want to give Matt Mercer some advice.

I’m one of them. I know Matt probably doesn’t read my blog (*and if you do, please reach out any time, really. jeffsgamebox@gmail.com) I think he’s a great guy from everything I’ve seen/read/heard. I hope he’s doing everything to stay safe and stay with us. I think we’d all really miss him or anyone else in that situation.

Many tabletop gamers are prone to depression, as Matt points out in the clip. I always thought it was because we were often persecuted as nerds back in my day. Back before TTRPGs became a mainstream phenomenon, a lot of us were outcasts from normal middle-high school or college society. I tended to be a lot introverted.

I’m glad he reached out to the community, fans, social media. I’m actually surprised at how many people I know responded to the video on X (Twitter.) I guess that just means maybe I’ve found the right crowd for me. I dunno. Matt’s got a big heart and it’s hard to see him going through tough times, but he seems to be handling it as well as possible. May that continue.

If you are having those dark thoughts, please reach out to someone.

In the USA and Canada, you can call or text: 988

If it’s a medical emergency, Dial 911 immediately or go to the nearest Emergency Room!

To learn more about Suicide Prevention (USA,) you might want to check out the American Association of Suicidology at https://suicidology.org/

Also never underestimate the power of friends and family if you just need someone to talk with.

The one thing I don’t recommend, unless it’s a private message to someone you trust, is airing out any mental health concerns on Facebook, Instagram, or X (Twitter.) People can be incredibly vicious, random, and uncaring online. I think Matt Mercer was incredibly brave for going on X (Twitter) to talk about this particular subject. He’s one of the only celebrities I know who might be able to pull something like that off.

Please, take care today. Thank you for being here. I appreciate you. Please embrace kindness toward others online and in person.