There is this absurd notion that it’s okay to keep people away from our hobbies.

I’ve been seeing more posts online again about. “This is why we should keep people away from [whatever] game.” Usually it’s Dungeons & Dragons or Warhammer 40K that conservatives seems to be trying to drive the “woke” crowd away from.

The prevailing theory to counter this argument is that “{Game} is for Everyone.” I’ve even said before that D&D is for everyone. I’ve never turned anyone away from a 40K match and wouldn’t do so anyway. Other games? Nope. Not turning people away.

Why would we ever turn someone away? Let’s talk about it. Most of the time when we see the anti-gatekeeping say, “for everyone,” what they mean is everyone except bigots, gatekeepers, anti-woke crowd, etc. Is it more correct to gatekeep anyone for any reason?

I look upon this the same way I look at freedom of speech.

Yes, these games are for everyone. That’s why they’re out there for free or for sale to the public. We wouldn’t turn away a player or GM any more than we would turn away a paying customer (or free on the Internet in many cases.) HOWEVER, if someone is joining strictly to be disruptive, hateful, or to otherwise cause problems, we have just as much right to turn them away.

We have the right to free speech (in the USA and other countries.) That right can be restricted or taken away if it is abused in some ways. For example, yelling “fire” in crowded movie theater when there is no fire. If someone abuses the power of free speech in a way that is still deemed as legal, the consequences for said action can be corrected by one’s fellow citizens.

Yes, technically hate speech is protected by the US Constitution. However, hate speech is not allowed on most social media platforms by their Terms of Service. Yes, you technically can (be a bigoted idiot) but no, you shouldn’t. It’s the same reason nonviolent counter protests are perfectly legal and reasonable.

Keeping someone out of my personal gaming group is not “gatekeeping.”

I would love for more people to get interested in roleplaying games. Turning someone away from my table because their presence has proven disruptive or extremely negative is not the same thing as trying to keep them out of the hobby. If someone wants to act like a bigoted 🦆🦆🦆hole after I say my table is an LGBTQIA, BIPOC, Neurodiverse friendly table, they’re gone. They will be told to leave, plain and simple. I won’t hesitate to call the police to have such a person removed from my home.

Just because someone isn’t welcome at my personal table doesn’t mean they’re not welcome in the hobby. If someone wants to go to their bedsheet of the month club rally and recruit a few friends to play that “devil’s game” aka D&D, they’re more than welcome to try. Anyone is welcome to form a gaming group of like minded friends in their own isolated spaces.

What someone does in their own home is strictly their business. Y’all have fun with that. (Don’t invite me.) If said isolated group takes up residence in the FLGS, they’re welcome to try. If they start in with that hate speech crap or otherwise violate the store’s house rules, they will be escorted from the building.

Telling someone to stay out of the hobby entirely because of [whichever] status is just plain wrong. Please don’t be like that. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, either. If I get turned away from someone’s table, I’m not quitting the hobby. I’m just not gaming with that table. Moving along to brighter pastures.

We old guys should darn well know better.

We all had to start somewhere. Imagine how awful it would be getting turned away from that very first game session just because someone didn’t like your hair color. I wouldn’t be in a hurry to come back to the hobby. That’s what being gatekept is like.

Imagine asking what’s going on over on the Warhammer 40K table and being told to eff off because people of your ethnic background aren’t allowed. That’s gatekeeping at its worst. Invite people to watch as long as they’re not being disruptive. Please, answer reasonable questions about the game.

On the other hand, showing up to a 40K tournament with a Space Marine army painted like the Waffen SS is not the message we’re looking to send. If it’s a historical game, sure. I mean, still kinda sketchy, but someone has to play the bad guys occasionally. But if someone’s army is specifically painted up like a hate group, that’s just not going to sit well with anyone, i.e. disruption, and gone.

If someone has their entire Space Marine chapter tastefully painted in LGBTQIA Pride colors, that’s perfectly acceptable in my opinion. If anything, that invites more people into the game. Yes, it makes a statement, but not one of hate. Actually, I’ve seen this army on social media and the paint job is amazing.

We Old Grognards of the TTRPG and miniatures wargaming space used to welcome everyone regardless because we were all basically a persecuted minority (of likeminded nerds) who just wanted to enjoy a freaking game. There was never any discussion of how someone else’s table should run. Your table as a GM was your group, and everyone was cool, or they could go find another group. That part has not changed.

Anyone is welcome to try the game out. If I’m not their jam, I hope they at least keep gaming with people they do agree with. It makes me sick that so much hate and unrest exist in this world, but TTRPGs have long been my escape. I want to provide that experience for my audience and my players as much as possible as long as everyone gets along at the table.

One more example of what I’m saying before I rest.

When I worked at a coffee shop, we had two major groups of clientele. We had the very religious Christian crowd and the fairly vocal LGBTQIA crowd that came in regularly. As long as they stayed away from each other and kept their conversations at a reasonable volume, we served a lot of coffee. If the crowds mingled and everyone was civil, we served a lot of coffee. If someone started in about how “those people” were “immoral,” then the offender was asked to leave the store. Likewise, we had to break up the crowd if people started chanting various LGBTQIA slogans just to get the Christians riled up.

Most of the time people were pretty peaceful. We actually had the same situation on our staff for a long time. One of my fellow shift supervisors was openly gay. One of our regular closers was incredibly devout Evangelist Christian. We didn’t discuss religion or politics on shift, and everything went great. I’m sure outside of work they probably hated each other’s’ guts. We all loved coffee, and money.

I have the high minded goal that maybe we can all share one world someday.

I would dearly love for TTRPGs and other games to be a bridge that brings people together. If we can learn to cooperate for then enjoyment of a hobby (or coffee,) then maybe those moments and that spirit of cooperation can follow us elsewhere.

I’m not trying to force anyone to do anything they don’t want to do. The main thing I want to make clear is no one has the right to inflict their values on someone else. Another way to say it is there’s no harm hanging with people who you are comfortable with. It’s okay to form relationships with likeminded people.

I’m never going to tell someone they have to run their game the same way I do. As I’ve said numerous times- please do what works best for you and your group. I can try to set an example, but please use your own discernment. Maybe you agree with me, and I think that’s great. Maybe you don’t agree with me, and that’s cool too. I think we both have better things to do than scream “I’m right and you’re wrong” across the gaming table at each other.

I found Page 25 of Fabula Ultima to be quite meaningful today. It said, “Cooperate With Everyone Else.”

I wish every TTRPG had a page like this. That’s what we’re here to do in the #ttrpgcommunity. Play fun games with each other, get along, and build a hobby together. Let’s strive for that, please.

Thanks for being here. I appreciate you so much. Please embrace that which brings you the most joy. See you tomorrow.