This can’t be right. Can it?

Many moons ago I played this fun little MMORPG called World of Warcraft. I played Alliance on a few different servers. I took part in more than one guild. I left before Guild Halls became a thing, but we did have a Garrison system that was a lot of fun on there.

Now Dungeons & Dragons is putting something very similar into the new Dungeon Master’s Guide. Did I miss something here? This has to be a mistake. WTAF?!? Seriously? 

Disclaimer: Statements expressed in this article are strictly my opinion. If you disagree or have a different opinion, that’s okay. I’m not an expert on everything. I’m not always right. I’m just writing from my experience as I know it. Your mileage may vary.

I heard this news and the first thought that came to mind was, “Guild Halls.”

I wasn’t expecting to actually be right. At the time I was on WoW, we begged Blizzard for some sort of Guild housing. I left before the idea ever really caught on, but I guess they got it in a later expansion. I honestly haven’t kept up to date on WoW. I kinda gave it up for D&D among other things.

I am having trouble wrapping my head around this whole Bastion thing in D&D. Did someone at Wizards of the Coast forget that D&D is a TABLETOP ROLEPLAYING GAME? It’s not an MMORPG. They don’t even have a working 3D Virtual TableTop yet. Why do we need Guild Halls in a tabletop game?

I thought maybe I read something wrong.

Here’s the link. Please go check it out for yourself.

So, if I’m reading this correctly, we get to start on a Bastion at 5th level and add all of these neato keen features for gold. Then we hire minions and hirelings to go on missions and bring back magic items. It sounds almost just like Garrisons in WoW.

No, I read it right. There’s a GP cost and Bastion Points to keep track of. There are missions and Bastion Turns for hirelings. This just reeks of Garrisons from WoW. Anyone else see the problem yet?

When did D&D become an MMORPG? I get that WotC (Cynthia Williams and crew) thinks D&D’s player base is severely undermonetized. Is this just a ploy to get more players to buy the DMG? Could it also be a marketing tool to convince people to buy online real estate for a monthly fee?

Just when you thought WotC couldn’t stoop any lower.

What happened to boycott D&D? What happened to #DnDBeGone? Some of us are wishing it was gone right now. Instead, a big old pack of “Content Creators” went running back to WotC like all was forgiven. Many of them are getting free merch as payment for good reviews. It’s disgusting. Meanwhile WotC commits a PR blunder to get their names out there at least once per month so they can further promote their latest horribly overpriced books.

This new Bastion system is another step too far. I can’t see what good is really going to come out of it. Obviously, “Vote with your dollars” is going nowhere fast. I hope the intelligent players and DMs out there see this Bastion business for what it is. It’s a cash grab, y’all.

And what happened to making the DMG all about teaching people to run the game. What happened to making it all new DM friendly? Was that just Jeremy Crawford smiling for the camera while he lied through his teeth? Why aren’t we hearing about DM features of the DMG instead of this Bastion Stuff?

Bastions used to have a whole different meaning.

Obviously no one working at WotC is old enough to remember the Expert Rules with its dominion/castle system. High level Fighters used to gain retainers and be able to raise a castle I think starting around 10th level. Apparently it wasn’t just Fighters, but they’re the ones who received the most benefit from it. Still, 10th level, tons of gold, and the threat of possible siege from other landholders.

The way it reads now (to me) is the DM is just supposed to allow this BS nonsense to fly regardless. Whatever happened to OPTIONAL rules? I’m sorry, but who’s in charge of my campaign? Because this article about Bastions really makes me wonder where the DM even fits into any of this. This looks like more rules for the players to use.

The DM is getting thrown out the window in 2024 now?

I am starting to think WotC’s solution to players being undermonetized and DM’s buying the majority of their product is just to eliminate the DM entirely. I think that’s why we hear all this malarky about how hard it is to be a DM. There’s supposedly some big shortage, too. Strange. I have yet to see evidence of either problem.

D&D is WotC’s game. I guess they can ruin it however they see fit. I have plenty of retroclones and alternatives such as Shadowdark and Pathfinder 2E Remastered to look forward to in 2024. I hate to tell WotC, but Old School Essentials will never go out of style because it was based on B/X D&D. WotC is incapable of sullying the OSR because they never had their claws on it to begin with.

Last I checked, when I run D&D in my homebrew campaign in my homebrew world, it was my game. Is there any hope of any player raising a bastion or anything of the sort if I won’t allow it? I don’t care what WotC does on their VTT, in my world at my table- it’s my rules. That and it’s kinda tough to maintain a bastion if hirelings, etc keep getting eaten or burnt to cinders by dragons. If my players want to sit around and play house like it’s a video game, they can look surprised when bad stuff keeps “spawning” in to mess with their plans.

WotC D&D staff should teach a master’s course in revisionist history.

It’s like Brink and his toadies Crawford and Perkins can’t just acknowledge the game before WotC got their greedy mitts all over it. The only time anyone at WotC seems to remember T$R properties is when they need another setting to squeeze a few 5E dollars out of. Seriously, Dragonlance was the best they could do for 5E? Now it’s Planescape’s turn to get fleeced, apparently.  

WotC’s D&D team is straight-up awful in my opinion. They should all resign while they still have some dignity left. It’s clear WotC’s sad excuse for leadership doesn’t even acknowledge the tabletop game except to sell more brand merchandise. The tabletop game could go back to being an overpriced boxed set at Target in the boardgame section for all they care. As long as the big $$ching-ching$$ keeps rolling in off of video games and licensed properties, who needs the books?

I love how WotC can’t bring back Birthright, which was literally a campaign setting devoted to maintaining a kingdom, but we can get this new BS from them. Greyhawk? Nope. That ain’t happening. Crawford and co didn’t create it, so it must not exist. Instead, we get, “Look, kids- Bastions! Yayyyy.”

On the upside, the cantrips portion of the UA playtest looked okay-ish. Surveys open on Oct 19th. I can’t wait to tear them a new one even though I know I’m not their target audience. AKA they’re not getting another dime out of me until they show they’ve extracted cranium from posterior orifice.

Thanks for stopping by. Onward and upward. Back to some fictional TTRPG horror tomorrow.