Last week the subject of Safety Tools came up again in ugly fashion.

First, let me reiterate the most important point of this whole discussion: NO ONE IS FORCING ANYONE TO DO ANYTHING AT THEIR TTRPG TABLE! If you don’t want to use Safety Tools, if they’re not right for your group, if it’s not your thing- THEN DON’T DO IT! No one is going to come take your gaming books and GM screen away and tell you it’s all wrong.

Second, after having this exact same discussion with my wife, Session Zero and Safety Tools aren’t always 100% necessary for every group. My group is my wife and kids. Session Zero looked like character creation. Safety Tools are pretty much the same things we never discuss in front of the kids. We try to keep things PG-13 here at home, so that’s what we do in game, too.

Third, whether one is for or against Safety Tools, it’s never your job to tell someone else how to run things at their table. Yeah, I dole out a good amount of opinions and advice. Everyone is free to take it or leave it accordingly. Use Safety Tools. Or don’t. Personally, I always say do what’s best for you, your group, and sometimes your host/table. (Conventions, FLGS, etc.) What makes perfect sense for one group may not work for everyone else outside that group. You can always find a play group that suits your style and the way you want to do things.

Safety Tools are not a sign of weakness.

One of the more notorious posts about Safety Tools this past week made those of us who use them look emasculated, weak, effeminate, or just plain awful. Yet, every other core gaming book I open these days seems to be recommending them. I don’t understand why it’s so hard to grasp. If you don’t want to use Safety Tools- Don’t.

But there’s one request I will make. Please, for the love of the Universe, DO NOT insist yours is the only opinion. Some of us DO use Safety Tools, quite effectively, I might add. One thing it does is help me weed out players like these two buffoons. There is no rule in TTRPGs that says, “You must follow every single line of text in this book or be burned at the stake.”

However, there is a rule at my table that says, “Play nice with the GM and fellow players or get out of my basement.”

The fact that someone is so unwilling to be considerate of others’ feelings as to get this irate over the use of Safety Tools is a huge red flag in and of itself. Maybe being rude, crass, unintelligent, and abrasive works for some people at their home games. Please, don’t come to my table with that crap. There are people in my groups that are legitimately sensitive to certain topics.

Safety Tools aren’t just a cheesy way to bend the rules.

Do I think Safety Tools could be abused to gain one’s character some sort of advantage? Yeah, sadly it could. Do I think the purpose of implementing some safety measures might spare someone having to relive or remember a very traumatic experience in their lives? Definitely. Thanks, I’ll take my chances by NOT offending a trauma victim.

I take the term “sparkle troll” as a slur against LGBTQIA+ folx, and that’s never going to fly at my house. Public games such as the ones at conventions and games stores draw in players from all over the community. I don’t want to find out mid-session that someone in the group is going to have major issues with my LGBTQIA+ players. Again, some basic human consideration would be a good thing.

For an extreme example, if someone sits down at a convention table, takes 5 minutes to complete my Safety Tools survey, has their various Nazi tattoos covered and sits next to my African American openly lesbian trans player with nary a word spoken negatively between the players or their characters all night? Cool. But if the angry looking bitter old white guy calls someone or their character a “sparkle troll?” Buh bye. He’s gone. No arguments.

Some of us just want to play Dungeons & Dragons (or whatever) in peace. I want to run a nice, pleasant game where we play elves or dwarves and maybe fight a dragon at the end of our dungeon crawl. I don’t want to remind someone of their trauma from gang violence, sexual assault, abduction, or whatever happened. That’s not cool. We’re gaming to play in an escapist fantasy environment, not try and see who we can freak out this week.

It just really boils down to basic human decency.

Like I said earlier, my wife and I had a rather long discussion about this topic in front of the kids one night. While she’s not opposed to the idea of Safety Tools, she didn’t see the point of them in our group. That’s because my group is literally my wife and kids. There’s no need.

Now, if I were to run a public game at one of our Friendly Local Game Stores or at a convention, I’d pull out the Safety Tools and hold a very brief 10 or 15 minute Session Zero before we start to ensure no one is going to have problems or cause them.

It’s just polite. There tools are there. If you don’t need the wrench, you don’t use the wrench. Go figure. If nothing super unpleasant never comes up in game and no one ever picks up the X card, great. That’s what I’m shooting for. We can still overthrow despots and oppose tyrannical dragons in our game. Cool.

At the end of the day, it’s about the fun.

One of my dirty little GM secrets is I don’t care too much about every detail on someone’s character sheet as long as we’re all having fun. We ate snacks, rolled some dice, nearly fell over laughing, and I handed out bonus tokens to nearly everyone for good lines, then I’m happy.

I’d rather have a mediocre session, or my game get cancelled entirely than have some hotheaded barbarian player get a little too detailed with his description of interrogation tactics and have two red cards go up simultaneously. Then we have to halt play entirely, make sure everyone is okay, and probably retcon the whole scene. Then I have to warn the barbarian player. My night pretty much grinds to a halt and three players are all a bit on edge and might not return to the next session. Super uncomfortable moments such as these can be avoided in we talk the whole thing over ahead of time.

“That hand holding crap would never fly at my table,” said the Grognard.

And did you ever wonder why a long-standing player suddenly lost all interest in your game? Ever have one of your players unexpectedly shut down mid-session for no obvious reason? Ever have someone threaten to beat your ass in real life over something that got said in character? No? Lucky you, then.

My point is not everyone is going to use Safety Tools. Great. If I show up to a game and that’s what I’m told it’s going to be- I’m probably going to exercise my right to find another GM or run a game myself. That’s the ultimatum, right? “If you don’t like the way I run things, go find someone else.”

I’m not sensitive to many things as a player, but I know several people who are. So, when I am a GM, I try to remember as much of that information as possible. I don’t like to turn people away, especially at public venues if they want to learn and have fun. At the same time, if my way of doing things makes someone uncomfortable, maybe they need to go find a style that’s better suited to them. Cool.

It’s very simple GM courtesy toward one another. I don’t tell you what to do at your table, and you stay out of mine if you don’t like the way I do things. As long as your group and you are cool with what goes on at your table, that’s great. Please just do the rest of us a favor and don’t try to dictate what others do at their table. As long as we’re having fun and everyone feels comfortable as a player, that’s what we’re striving for. That’s what we’re trying to accomplish.

Thanks for stopping by. For more information on Safety Tools in TTRPGs, I high recommend ttrpgsafetytoolkit.com. There are also several books that include similar advice.

I appreciate you. Please stay safe and have fun.